Can I be a Mother & a Father to a child?

The article gets the main point right.  Children need fathers and mothers to stay together.  But we’re still not there yet.

From Time Magazine:

Few things hamper a child as much as not having a father at home. “As a feminist, I didn’t want to believe it,” says Maria Kefalas, a sociologist who studies marriage and family issues and co-authored a seminal book on low-income mothers called Promises I Can Keep: Why Poor Women Put Motherhood Before Marriage. “Women always tell me, ‘I can be a mother and a father to a child,’ but it’s not true.” Growing up without a father has a deep psychological effect on a child. “The mom may not need that man,” Kefalas says, “but her children still do.”

The article is so close.  But it turns out the source of strength for a family is not in the way that parents care for their children.  That is the third step in the three step dance.  The first step is to make much of God in our lives.  Paul says it like this in the New Testament, “whether in word or in actions, do everything to the glory of God.”   In other words, live in such a way that God will be magnified in your life; that others will see His greatness in your smallness.  So in your marriage, love your wife in a way that would make God proud; work in your family the way God has worked in His.   And the second step in caring for your family is for the mother and the father to invest in one another; to love one another.  The Bible says a man and a woman should be united into one and that no one or  no thing should divide this unity.  If you want a stable family then you need a stable marital relationship.  Then the third step is caring together for your children.  This is the three step dance of a healthy family.  Do it and you will prosper.

Hannah turns 1!

Hannah turned 1 on June 8th.  We had her party a bit later since I was out of town.  Lorrie made the cake because she’s crafty like that.  Raising three children 5 and under is the hardest thing I’ve ever done.

We celebrated over at my sister April’s house.

The Ericksons got her this toy stroller that helps her transition to walking.  Hannah is beautiful, bubbly, and smart.

A Glove and a Ball

Shelby competed for the first time in organized sports.  She played tee ball.  She did a fantastic job and really did better than I thought.  She usually hit the ball pitched to her without having to use the tee (the players get 4 balls pitched to them before they have to use the tee).  Her team won every game.  Well, every team one every game (no score was kept).

Here’s Hannah cheering her on.

Love is harsh and fearful

I would like to share with you this excerpt from an article on Fatherhood.  It is illuminating and incredibly accurate description of fatherhood.  I love fatherhood.  I love fatherhood because the Father has loved me and shown me the joy of it all.

From First Things First blog:

“Most fathers-to-be suppose that their old ego-centered lives will continue more or less unabated after the child arrives. With the exception of a few more obstacles and demands on their time, their involvement with their children is envisioned as being something manageable and marginal. Nothing like a complete transformation—an abrupt end to their former life—really enters men’s minds.

But then the onslaught begins, and a man begins to realize that these people, his wife and children, are literally and perhaps even intentionally killing his old self. All around him everything is changing, without any signs of ever reverting back to the way they used to be. Into the indefinite future, nearly every hour of his days threatens to be filled with activities that, as a single-person or even a childless husband, he never would have chosen. Due to the continual interruptions of sleep, he is always mildly fatigued; due to long-term financial concerns, he is cautious in spending, forsaking old consumer habits and personal indulgences; he finds his wife equally exhausted and preoccupied with the children; connections with former friends start to slip away; traveling with his children is like traveling third class in Bulgaria, to quote H.L. Mencken; and the changes go on and on. In short, he discovers, in a terrifying realization, what Dostoevsky proclaimed long ago: “[A]ctive love is a harsh and fearful reality compared with love in dreams.” Fatherhood is just not what he bargained for.

Yet, through the exhaustion, financial stress, screaming, and general chaos, there enters in at times, mysteriously and unexpectedly, deep contentment and gratitude. It is not the pleasure or amusement of high school or college but rather the honor and nobility of sacrifice and commitment, like that felt by a soldier. What happens to his children now happens to him; his life, though awhirl with the trivial concerns of children, is more serious than it ever was before. Everything he does, from bringing home a paycheck to painting a bedroom, has a new end and, hence, a greater significance. The joys and sorrows of his children are now his joys and sorrows; the stakes of his life have risen. And if he is faithful to his calling, he might come to find that, against nearly all prior expectations, he never wants to return to the way things used to be.”

hat-tip: Between Two Worlds

the Manners of sin

The figures the paper gave were startling – every year in France, between 1,600 and 2,000 women apparently suffer from pregnancy denial, and at least 230 discover or admit they’re pregnant only at the moment they give birth. BBC article

Wouldn’t this be akeen to not noticing a flesh wound on your leg?  Read the article it gets more disturbing like this:   “She also admitted killing and burning the body of a third baby she bore in France in 1999.”

That is, the article is about a woman who delivered two babies at two different times herself and then suffocated them and froze them in a freezer (and kept them there!).  When found out, she confessed of the third child she had burned.

Not to shock you all at once, here is what they are saying about her now:

Jurors have to now decide whether Veronique Courjault was suffering from a psychological disorder, or whether she is guilty of premeditated murder.

I have no doubt she has a serious psychological disorder but the disorder exist because this woman sinned and sinned and sinned in the manner of one cremated baby and two suffocated and frozen.

Eagles to Omaha

In an unlikely run, the Golden Eagle baseball team played their way to Omaha.  Omaha is where the College World Series is held.

The Eagles lost Sunday night to Texas (the second most prestigous college baseball program next only to USC).  But they lost by their own mistakes.  The game could’ve gone either way.

The Eagles play again today at 1pm and need to win to continue in the series.

Go Eagles!!!

All Aboard!

This past week we said, “Yes to VBS.”  We kept an age old tradition of SBC churches.  Lorrie directed all things VBS this year and she did an amazing job.

Gangway

This is the moped we rented on the Caymen Islands.  This is also the moped I wrecked and had a pay a large chunk of money for.

Scenes from favorite cruise pastime: Eating

We often gathered in the doors of our cabins to chat about activities and such.

28,150 cans of beer on the boat

Consumed by approximately 4100 people floating on the Carnival Conquest for 7 days:

2,200 pounds of prime rib

4,500 pounds of chicken

2,500  steak

15,000 pounds of shrimp

4,800 hamburgers

900 pounds of salmon

7000 pizzas

3,000 pounds of tomatoes

4,320 bananas

6,200 pounds of flour

22,000 eggs

36,000 slices of bacon

20,000 Danish Pastries

900 gallons of milk

1,000 pounds of coffee

24,500 cans of soft drinks

28,150 bottles/cans of beer

3,502 bottles of wine

40,000 liters of spirit

Blue skies all around

My wife is beautiful.  Our outfits actually were color coordinated a couple of nights.  What can brown do for you?

On Tuesday of our trip we stopped off in Jamaica.  Lorrie and I hung out in Montego Bay for a few hours.  We spent some time snorkeling in the bay.

What a great looking couple.  Those folds on my belly are only because I’m slumping over a bit.  Carry on.

That night the guest services left us a friend on our bed.  They formed some kind of animal every night with the towels.  His eyes are chocolates.  We plucked them out and ate them.